The transition, which he himself calls transformation, that Kleinsman allows his clients to make is from being an above-average version to becoming the most unlimited, exceptional, and unbeatable version of themselves (being). As that best version, clients can arrange their lives as they wish, with the people they love. They can then achieve and acquire what is most important to them. There are two requirements. You must truly want to transform, and direct and radical choices must be made.
Sounds simple, is it? 'Our lives are determined by traumas,' Kleinsman states. 'Many are not aware of it, but everyone experiences a "dent" in their youth. Thinking you are not good enough is the dent that many people have. If you allow such a negative thought long enough, you will start to believe it and act accordingly, and then that becomes your identity. And there are many supposed truths that are imposed by, for example, parents, teachers, faith, or tradition, which partly determine your identity in a way that you actually do not want, but which you cannot simply leave behind. The only way to break those so-called truths is a transformation of your identity, and no, that is not simple. If you have always been told that sex is dirty, you will not dare to enjoy it. If you were raised with frugality, showing that you have money is not done. If your parents always said 'just be normal, then you are already crazy enough', who determined what was crazy? Probably not you. Your ego, call it your mind, will always want to hold on to what you were once told. Breaking the ego is therefore the first step towards a new identity.'
Coaching on identity
Kleinsman does not take things lightly. A coaching trajectory always starts with a free consultation, after which it is assessed whether a collaboration is useful. 'This consultation is not a cozy coffee date; it is an intensive exploration of who I have in front of me. Based on the conversation, I learn about the needs of the other. If someone thinks it is all airy-fairy nonsense, that idea is usually gone after such a consultation. Sometimes results are even achieved right after that conversation. If a collaboration occurs, a unique transformation program is formed that precisely meets the needs of the client. It naturally starts with determining the current identity and, more importantly, why it has been formed that way. In the next step, we look at the pros and cons of that identity. Then it becomes clear to everyone that they literally chose who they are at that moment. Once you know that, the logical conclusion is that you can simply choose again, but then in a very conscious way so that you determine who you want to become. Forget what others have told you and write your own truth. A prerequisite for successful transformation is the importance you attach to it. Only if it is truly important to you will it succeed in letting go of the stories that others told you. That is why I consciously coach on identity instead of activity. This distinguishes me from average coaches. They say: do this, do that, but when the coaching stops, the client often falls back into old habits. After our collaboration, my clients are the best version of themselves, and with that new identity, the activities that fit it follow naturally. A nice side effect: if you can truly be who you want to be, you radiate that, and it ensures that you keep noticing that more is possible, and if you know that life can be even more beautiful, why wouldn't you want that?'
No-nonsense
Kleinsman has developed a unique and characteristic coaching style over the years, and he is known for his no-nonsense approach. On the one hand, this is because he does not accept silly excuses from clients and is not afraid to hurt feelings or egos. On the other hand, he knows that the spiritual part of the process can put people off because they cannot put their finger on it. 'I don't want to waste time, so I hold my clients strictly to agreements made, and with my specific approach, I can show and let them experience that the spiritual part is very concrete as well. Your feelings are always right until your mind gets involved. The voice inside you is the best compass; you just have to learn to trust it. I have become very good at quickly clarifying what someone needs. I focus on people who have already achieved success or are determined to realize their full potential. These are people who deep down know that there is so much more to be or achieve. It is my mission to help them reinvent themselves, and that is fundamentally something different than helping them find themselves.'
Personal experiences
His way of coaching is largely based on personal experiences. 'I am left-handed, and that was not easily accepted when I was young. I wet my pants during a Christmas musical at school on stage. I had to get a vaccination that I actually didn't want. I couldn't find my place in high school and therefore performed poorly. My parents unconsciously made me feel that I was not good enough. I learned that it is arrogant to think that I deserve total happiness. At first glance, things that seem unimportant, but which had a profound impact on the rest of my life. These are the traumas I mentioned earlier. They caused me panic attacks later in life, and I became a pleaser; I wanted everyone to like me. I got stuck on that, and finding a solution took me many years. Now I have completely redesigned my own life, and through all those experiences, I have the skills and abilities to truly help people with an identity switch to process their traumas. They do not have to search for years. The transformation to the next level takes my clients, depending on their own effort, between two to four months. There was even one case that underwent a transformation in the first consultation.'
Books
A coaching trajectory with Kleinsman is not cheap, and he demands one hundred percent commitment. He still wants to help people who cannot or do not want to, which is why he shares his knowledge and experiences in two books that challenge the reader to put into practice what they read.
This is how you become a gamechanger
In 2020, So word je een gamechanger was published, a bestseller that is now known as the bible for personal development. In 2022, the audio version of this book was released.
With the help of assignments in the book, you write a strategy consisting of principles, habits, and routines to reach your maximum potential and best performance. It helps you take leadership over your own life and shows you how to become a gamechanger. It consists of four parts:
1. Performer
2. High performer
3. Elite performer
4. Gamechanger
Fuck it, you can have it all
Becoming successful is not difficult; staying successful is another matter. This book, which was published in May of this year, shows that by developing your being, or your state of 'being', you can effectively create new successes and grow into your 3.0 version, and the 4.0, the 5.0, and so on.
The book consists of five parts:
1. Who do you want to be?
2. What, with whom, and how?
3. Get started!
4. The great enjoyment
5. Have it all!
The chapters in the five parts all begin with an action step, which is then explained. By working out each action step, you write a complete strategy to become the next version of yourself. It is a never-ending story because you can of course keep doing that over and over again.
Want to read more about or learn from Wouter Kleinsman? Then visit wouterkleinsman.nl.
Who is Wouter?
Wouter was born on May 18, 1989, in Hengelo. With ups and downs, he went through high school, followed various courses with varying success, and in 2009 started a digital consultancy agency. As a down-to-earth Twent, he led an average life until he had enough of it at twenty-five. 'I was successful and had a monthly income of 30,000 euros, but I realized that work and money no longer gave me satisfaction. I was unhappy in my relationships, I used recreational drugs, and I often suffered from panic attacks and hyperventilation. Additionally, I was mainly focused on pleasing the people around me. During a vacation in Egypt, I decided that it had to change radically. The best decision ever. That’s when my search for inner happiness began. Between 2017 and 2021, I spent thousands of hours mastering the art of coaching. I was officially certified as a high-performance coach and worked with a template to guide my clients. That worked very well, but ticking boxes on a template was not entirely my style. I decided to let that go and continue without a fixed program, basing the coaching largely on my own experiences. When I say that you can have it all, I speak from experience. I am now doing exactly what I want to do, with the people I love. I see no limits, and I believe without a doubt that I can be who I want to be and do what I want to do.'
Author
Kleinsman is also a voracious reader. He has read hundreds of books on personal development but missed a book that discusses all important areas of life. 'Most books focus on one or a few sub-areas, which means you can never tackle your entire life at once. I then decided to write a practical book based on my knowledge and personal experiences that guides the reader on the path to an extraordinary life.' The book So word je een gamechanger was released in 2020 and has since become a bestseller. In May 2023, a second book, Fuck it, you can have it all, followed. 'I noticed that many of my successful clients knew that more was possible, but they still couldn't move forward. I decided to write a book that could help them quickly and effectively. Like So word je een gamechanger, this book also has a practical approach, allowing you to immediately put into practice what you have read.' In addition to the two books, the no-nonsense coach also regularly writes articles with tips for leading an extraordinary life for his own website and for the FHM website. Recently, there is the podcast Unscripted. 'In this podcast, I share my insights on radical transformation. No polished stories, no pre-chewed answers, and certainly no censorship. I go straight to the core of what it means to grow, change, and ultimately transform into the ideal life. I am also not afraid to share my own experiences, successes, and failures in the podcast. This shows that real change can only happen if you are honest.'
