"I didn't ask for this either, but I was asked to lead this department. Let's make the best of it."
That was the first sentence I spoke when I started as a manager of a new department. In hindsight, that sentence said everything except what was needed.
I tried to neutralize the tension. The informal leader of the team had been passed over, and that was palpable. He had the experience, the confidence, and the conviction that he was the right person. And he made that known.
What I didn't say, but felt, was uncertainty. Instead of taking my position, I made myself smaller, while the situation actually called for leadership.
That was my first real lesson in change management. Change does not start with the team, but with the one who stands in front.
Why Change Management Often Doesn't Work
In many organizations, change management is approached as a process. Models, step plans, and frameworks are supposed to provide grip and predictability.
In practice, that works only to a limited extent. Change is rarely linear. It is messy, human, and often uncomfortable. It touches on beliefs, positions, and identity.
That is where the problem lies. Change is too often seen as something external, something that must happen in the organization. While the core lies in leadership.
The Shift to Self-Awareness
The real shift came when I examined my own role. Not through a new model, but through a confronting insight. My effectiveness was determined by how I carried myself.
My need to be liked. My tendency to avoid tension. My discomfort with conflict. These turned out to be not side issues, but determining factors.
From that moment on, my view of leadership changed. Change management became less about directing and more about self-awareness. Models remained useful, but supportive.
Change as a Process of Meaning
Change is often approached as something that can be planned and controlled. In reality, it is less about structure and more about meaning.
The core question is not what needs to happen, but what is at stake.
With every change, it is about letting go, uncertainty, and searching for direction. That process is not tight or predictable. It is something people go through, individually and as a group.
In that, the leader plays a determining role. Not as the one who controls everything, but as the one who provides direction and shows what the change requires.
Where It Gets Exciting
Real change is uncomfortable. There is always something at stake. Status, security, or interpersonal relationships.
The reflex is to avoid that discomfort. But it is precisely there that change stalls. Friction is not a sign that something is going wrong, but that something is moving.
The question, therefore, is not how to prevent conflict, but how to deal with it.
The Role of Safety
Psychological safety is often seen as something you can organize. In reality, it arises from behavior.
As a leader, you set the tone. By asking questions, showing doubt, and engaging in conversation when it gets uncomfortable, space is created. Not because you say it, but because you show it.
Less Nice, More Clear
A confronting insight in my development was that my strength, getting along with everyone, was also starting to limit me.
In situations where clarity was needed, I nuanced for too long. Difficult messages were softened when they needed to be clear.
Leadership sometimes requires a different choice. Not to be harder, but to be clearer when it is necessary.
When Change Gains Direction
Change only gains strength when people understand why it matters.
That requires more than strategy. It requires meaning and direction. Leaders who succeed in this connect change to a larger whole.
Without that layer, change remains superficial.
The Core
When I look back on that first day, I see not a lack of knowledge, but a lack of positioning.
Leadership in change management ultimately does not revolve around systems or models, but around the leader themselves. About the willingness to move, to look at oneself, and to take a position when it matters.
