Online exclusion often takes place out of sight of adults
The research shows that seven out of ten young people (70%) feel that teachers do not realize how often online exclusion occurs. Parents also underestimate the problem according to young people: 67% say that adults at home do not see what is happening online. Especially young people between the ages of 13 and 15 experience that parents and other adults do not see or understand what is happening online. 'Online exclusion often takes place out of sight of adults,' explains Dr. Remco Spithoven from Saxion University. 'But the effect is significant. Young people who feel excluded online may also withdraw offline. Adults have an important role by showing interest, asking questions, and being alert to changes in behavior.'
Social isolation and depression due to online exclusion
New research from Helpwanted, in collaboration with School & Veiligheid and Dr. Remco Spithoven from Saxion University, among young people aged 10 to 20 shows how extensive the problem is: More than half of young people have experienced being excluded online, and as many as one in four young people (23%) experience this at least once a month. Online exclusion can lead to serious psychological consequences such as insomnia, social isolation, and depressive feelings. Young people who are excluded online feel especially sad (42%), angry (35%), and lonely (30%). About a quarter of young people (25%) regularly feel depressed or down due to online exclusion.
From online exclusion to offline loneliness
According to Stichting Stop Pesten Nu, online exclusion is rarely an isolated problem. 'What happens online carries over into daily life,' says founder Patricia Bolwerk. 'Because adults often do not see it, young people feel not only excluded online but also unheard offline. By asking questions and listening without judgment, parents, caregivers, and teachers can really make a difference.'
Online parent evening as a starting point for conversation
During KPN's National Online Parent Evening, various experts and partners will discuss online exclusion. In addition to De Kindertelefoon, School & Veiligheid, and Stop Pesten Nu, Karin Swerink, editor-in-chief of LINDA. Magazine will also join. The magazine received many questions from readers after previous publications about online exclusion. Parents and caregivers can ask questions and receive concrete tips to open the conversation at home. The evening will be hosted by presenter Milouska Meulens and will focus on awareness and action perspective: what can you do as a parent if your child feels excluded online?
KPN draws attention to the impact of online exclusion with the National Online Parent Evening. With the #BeterInternet campaign Everyone except KPN put online exclusion on the social agenda. The song Buutvrij by S10, which centers on the loneliness of online exclusion, received a lot of attention. 'As the network of the Netherlands, we feel the responsibility to not only provide technology but also contribute to a more social internet,' says Marieke Snoep from KPN. 'With this parent evening, we help parents and caregivers better understand what their children experience online and engage in conversation, especially when someone withdraws.'
How was your day online?
With the National Online Parent Evening, KPN aims to encourage parents and caregivers to pay regular attention to their children's online lives. Because only when adults also ask 'How was your day online?' does space for understanding, support, and connection arise, both online and offline.
More information about the National Online Parent Evening can be found at www.kpn.com/ouderavond
Research accountability
The research on online exclusion is a study by Offlimits in collaboration with Stichting School & Veiligheid and Dr. Remco Spithoven from Saxion University. A total of 1014 Dutch young people aged 10 to 20 participated in the research. The results are representative of the Dutch youth population due to the use of weighting on the variables of gender and age. The fieldwork was conducted by Motivaction from July 22 to August 4, 2025.
